Sunday I am walking the runway for the Curvy Girl Lingerie We’ve Got Curve Appeal Fashion Show. It’s my second year and inevitably, when I tell people I’m doing this, their comment is “you’re so brave.”  This always catches me off guard, because I don’t think of this as courageous.

There are things I have done in my life that took courage, but it never felt like it at the time.  It was brave to separate from  hostile, hurtful and harmful relatives.  It took courage to go therapy, confront hideous truths, dismantle the walls and systems I created to keep myself safe in that environment, leaving me feeling exposed, but also open to life.  It was gutsy to start living my life, not the one others thought I should live.  It is plucky of me to produce my own poetry about this journey and want to get it published and out into the world.

So walking down a runway in lingerie really pales in comparison on my courage meter.  Last year I was really excited because I’ve harbored a secret dream to be a model.  Here was my chance!  I was also nervous, but Chrystal Bougon, owner of Curvy Girl and producer of the fashion show sent us all an email that made me cry and washed away all my nervousness.  She said that she knew we were all nervous, but that what we were doing was really important because women from all over the country were going to see pictures from the show and for many of them it would be the first time that they ever saw a curvy women in lingerie.  Think, she said, of the women in Iowa, or Arkansas, or Australia where there are no stores where they can buy lingerie and all the catalogs use models that are size 2 so they have no real idea how they would look in the lingerie.  Think of how empowering it will be for them to see women living happy lives, rocking their curves, daring to be sexy.  Think indeed.  I’m hoping to see that email again in the next day or two especially for the new models walking the first time this year.

This is going to be great fun, because I know that the event is filled with support and love from the other models, from the audience, and from the vendors.  Last year after I walked the runway alone, knowing no one but Chrystal (and not being able to talk any friends into joining me), I walked around the vendors in my pink babydoll and fedora and everyone was so positive and encouraging.  This year I’m in deep purple and have been practicing my poses for the end and how I’m going to turn around.  Every time I walk more than 10 yards, I throw my shoulders back and practice my runway walk, hips swaying and smiling with confidence.  People on the street smile, so I’m already getting positive feedback and the show is two days away!

I hear a few tickets are still available, come down and join the fun (women only).

What I’ll be wearing:

This is NOT me :-)

This is NOT me 🙂