It is my duty to
You
to come back for the holidays,
so here I am,
standing in front of
You
after a long journey.
Predictably,
You
are yelling.
You are telling me how disappointed in me
You are (again) and
You are not happy, not happy at all, and
You deserve to be happy, just once in your life and look at all of the things that
You have done for me, all of the things that
You have given to me until
You have nothing left to give
(but anger, I think. There’s always plenty of anger).
You … are the parent, I think.
You are supposed be happy to see me, I think
You are supposed to be caring,
You are supposed to …
{sigh}
but it doesn’t matter what
You are supposed
to do,
only what
You do
do.
But today,
it is different,
for now
I have resources
and strategies;
because I have been in therapy,
in my life
far away from
You.
I am learning how to love myself and
I am exploring, for the first time, what
I need, what
I want, what
I deserve.
And now I can see
You, and your monster beneath,
as separate from me and
and right now,
watching you scream,
it is so clear
what I want,
what I need,
and what I deserve.
So I
turn away from your twisted face,
disconnecting myself from the noise and
and your spewing anger.
Walking away
I find a new joke.
How do you drive a narcissist crazy?
I
ignore her.