Tolerating Uncertainty

Our house
The homestead — 2nd floor — Rent Me!

So I’m a mess today.  I am still on a mission to sublet our house for a few to several months, then hit the road.  I’m so excited about the possibility of hitting the open road and seeing friends I haven’t seen for years and meeting new people.  The BF & I are having great fun plotting the trip, where to go, where to stop, what is a “Must See/Do” and how much time is necessary to see/do said Must event.

Put your place up on Craigslist, they said.  You’ll have tons of people wanting your place, they said.  It will be really easy, they said.  But it’s been a few weeks, we’ve only had a couple of nibbles, and no one has made it as far as seeing the place.    I’ve just re-done the ad (again), this time using more of my writer skills.  In the meantime, I have turned into a mess.

Most people do not tolerate uncertainty well.  But so much of my life has been ungrounded in uncertainty that I seem to have completely lost my tolerance for it.  I have actually been managing pretty well until the last few days, but after cleaning house all morning (shocking, I know, and very confusing to the cat), the couple planning to take a look at the place backed out because we don’t have a washer/dryer.  I offered the services of Launderbot, our amazing local laundry service that picks up duffle bags full of dirty clothes and returns neatly folded laundry, sorted into brown paper-wrapped bundles neatly labeled (“towels” “tops” “pants” “sheets”) so you can open the bundle and deposit clean clothes directly into the appropriate drawers/shelves.  No go.

It’s not just that I’m itching like hell to get on the road.  It’s putting my life in limbo until we go.  We need a few things at the store, but I don’t know how much to buy.  If we sublet the place for 3/1, then I want to spend the next week NOT buying groceries and cleaning out the freezer.  If we don’t leave on 3/1, then I need to plan for meals.  If we don’t leave on 3/1, one of my oldest friends is Premiering her documentary Painted Nails.  Several friends have expressed an interest in going, but I don’t want to spend the time creating an event if I’m not going to be here.  And so on.

This doesn’t even begin to cover what we have to do if we actually DO sublet the place.  What can stay, what has to be moved out (this will depend partially on who rents it), where will it be stored, what does a gal pack to be on the road for a few months.  Does what I pack change if we are on the road for 3 or 4 or six months?  I predict I’m going to get really bored of my clothing options.  But that may be freeing.  But I digress.

The BF thinks he can just pack a suitcase and walk out the door.  Um, no.  Actually, he’s a lot closer to that than I am.  It’s my lighter collection and jewelry and alter items that are going to have to be packed & stored.  And he has a lot fewer clothes than I to move.

And there’s always a chance the landlord won’t let us sublet, which means we have to come to terms with a whole new set of decisions.  I was hoping to have the sublet all lined up and present it to her, but it occurred to us that she may actually decline our request so we have put in a formal request.  This may all be moot if she turns us down.

And just for more fun, there is the matter of the construction going on.  The foundation is being replaced, making the house shake and grinding saws going starting promptly at 8 a.m..  Their first estimate was a month, but that was a month ago, and last week he said it would be another month.  The noise is confined to business hours, but it is hella disruptive.  I’m camped out today at a friend’s house and the BF is out at a coffee shop so we can hear ourselves think.

The sane thing to do is just keep posting our ad on Craigslist, wait until the right person shows up, then hit the road.  The BF (and his pal BudgetMan) have made it clear that the only way a road trip is happening is if the sublet happens.  So the smart thing to do is wait.  But the waiting, the noise, the shaking and the uncertainty are beginning to get to me.

I think I need to spend the weekend looking for ways to have fun.  Then I can come back on Monday with re-newed patience for the right person to come along.

 

One thought on “Tolerating Uncertainty

  1. Deep breaths. It will all fall into place at the right time. Keep the smile on your face and in your heart. I’m the first one to understand bad days, but some how things just work out the way they are supposed to.

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